the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
pray to the hookup gods
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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