if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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