I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
