One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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