i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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