Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
