I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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