trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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