Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
