Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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