i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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