Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize