I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
