So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
