i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
