R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
