WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He felt like a one man threesome
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
