So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize