Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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