Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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