Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
