Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
