I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
