He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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