White coat. Heels.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
