in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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