Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
