I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
should my penis look like a turkey
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
