when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
