Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize