Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
