Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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