So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
