weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
