I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
my poor anus
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
