i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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