Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
