just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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