Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
