Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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