Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
