im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
