Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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