try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
