Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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