I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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