Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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