I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
