I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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