You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
