Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
