five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
