The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
