return my video game
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
