Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
