Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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