party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
