was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
