I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
