Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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