Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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